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Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts

Amandoes It Ill


Listen to Amandoes It Ill Acapela on SoundCloud

49

“Amandoes It Ill”

#11 Thus Spake Ill

 

call me PB, heard about my rhyme spree?
my momma said amanda, then began the beat,
forever been a twisted sister and bit of a freak, 
believe you me do i gots nice genes,

My doctor says I’m wack and gives me pills I gotta pop 

But deep within me creeps the damnest thoughts I cannot talk

Since the mental break rage and hate came awake

Even electro-shock therapy was just a waste

Post-lobotomy my synapses still on the grind

On the mic or on the page I tear it up and cause abrasions,

a maniac on the track a psychotic ticking time bomb

I’m strapped with rhymes for miles, I’m flowin’ all the time

I attack and cause fractures with my killer rhyme sprees

Can’t stop my sporadic emcee represnting : east, west, Protect ya neck cause I’m after all who wack, in fact, 

I push nooses door to door like  people selling vacs

I’m straight stricken with the sickness and its seeping from my core, ignore me me never or my clever bound you under the floor boards, I roar, like an omen spreading ten fold put u in a comatose so watch you're toez, cause.imma coming from below like mycelium grown

Since afflicted by the crypts, the shit that I spit’s so toxic,

I make kids from my audience need doctor visits

The speakers need bleach when I speak my inner thinks

cause i'm vicious and infectious, cause more than hookwinks

I'm possessed by a demon since that day I damned the bitch

My tongues split, like a serpent with a tight grip

on my mic spewing quick from out my esophagus

My dead heart tears apart my vocal box and flapping lips

I'm blasphemous I'm murderous I'm horrendously equipped

I'm a sinner and a tick under your skin I'll make you itch

I’m the liquor that they mix I’m the poison I’m the fix

The blast, the mishmash, I’m the callous on ya ass

I hop and skip your pulses as I drown you in the ocean

Like erosion I rub close enough to make you lose ya focus

im deep I creep from beneath so watch ur toes

cause commotion with explosions for my enemies and foes

I choke out fools with their own chains made of and gold

cause they fake so I lay their plastic asses out to bake

 I rain upon their lame parades and give their babies extra shake

 fill my glock with diamonds from their grills and barbeque their brains

 rip the hymens from their adolescent girls and take their names

how heinous can this game be how much further can I take it 

I'm Amanda and to me rapping's just like cake

I'm Amanda and to me rapping's just like cake

 

 


Born Against Her Will - Eligh - I Am Born

 BORN AGAINST HER WILL

Eligh - I Am Born

Shhh dare I say her name? My dead little sister got god damned
knock knock chair down at the door God's back
Shame on the man whomnever told her about the neck
now she's a stain upon my own in black ink   
Dare I say her soul ain't free? How dare me here still in hell she?  Shame, the news read, she was only 15
Now life was never fair but her suicide tears me apart,
from the inside out I'm paralyzed and all my thoughts
Dare I speak her name? I curse her in my prayers...
I'ma take that up with her myself for all I've had to bear  
Cuz now I'm left to wear this noose on my neck,
But I swear ill never drop it, u can't take it, s’all I got left
I’m cursed! suffering is mine, its true
not a lot can say they got the strength to take this confusion and pain
But I refuse to lose to this traumatic haunting monster
Influence my sister,  but forever I'll resist
This ring of sin, this villainous invasion
Taking reign upon my brain,  trying' to erase my sister's name?
Like a thorny crown, she's blood stain upon a gown, I try to get it out but the only hell that comes out... 
Revenge upon you little bitch how could you trust in such a prick this anti-Christ seductive lying piece of fibrous shit?
wistful, furious I’m listless – so the noose does gently sit,
Till the day I lose my grip
Darcy in my memories, picture frames, family trees
Left us more than grievances, sacrificial lamb of treason
Wishful thoughts of rest in peace, now we're taunted by the beast
leave me be, this noose forever be a wicked curse on me  
My sister under influence of weakened hope and chemic-illness
Her visions never were fulfilling, Longing for flawlessness 
Love and joy mysteries, peace out of reach
taunted by societies enforced belief systems was she
No trust in herself, but frustration far too much
She was stuck inside utopia dreaming of the dust,
Such a battle what a storm such a useless world in store,
for a girl without a prayer every windows just door.
staring straight into a dismal state of Self-hate and Mutilation
 till the bleeding numbed the pain and all sensation faded,
Under pressure underweight each friend more fake
talking behind her back on the race to heaven’s gate
race to heaven's gate,
You little whore, you little slut, you ugly fat disgusting fuck,
You only purge two times a day? Don't cut as deep as us?
Well... that just not enough. But, If you hate yourself enough,  and your shrink says you're fucked you,
You'll be popular like us, Soon well hate each other's guts!
thats the essence of our clique, get with us cause we're the shit, so my sister mixed with bitches without confidence or wishes,
Till a verbal slaughter worse than all their slitted wrists!
Oh how I miss my little sister, My Darcy Lynne...
Darcy in my memories, picture frames, family trees
Left us more than grievances, sacrificial lamb of treason
Wishful thoughts of rest in peace, now we're taunted by the beast
Away with you! You cursed noose, Forever its you I accuse!
Darcy in my memories, picture frames, family trees
Left us more than grievances, sacrificial lamb of treason
Wishful thoughts of rest in peace, now we're taunted by the beast
Leave me be or else the noose will be the last of me, 
Shhh dare I say her name? my dead little sister got god damned
knock knock chair down at the door God's back
Shame on the man whomnever told her bout the neck
now shes a stain upon my own in black ink   
Dare I say her soul aint free? How dare me here still in hell she?  Shame, the news read, she was only 15
Life ain't ever easy, pleasing, fair, or just - believe me,
this suicide's been measly torn me up and paralyzed me
from the inside out my self, mind, and thoughts are all beside me
Dare i say her name? I curse her in my prayers,
parsed scrutiny spared pursed lips burst and tear  
Cuz now I'm left to wear this noose on my neck,
But I swear ill never drop it, u cant take it, s’all I got left
I’m cursed! suffering is mine, its true
not a lot can say they got the strength to take this confusion and pain
But i refuse to lose to this relentless haunting monster
Influence my sister,  but forever I'll resist
This ring of sin, this villainious invasion,
this torturous atrocious taunting tormenting coerscion
This corrosive brain forsaken-shame this eroded focus taken reign, 
this pain struck heart strung praise remains unspoken 
from a throat, silent hope tryin' to cope, with this emotion
like a scar, sown proud, sharp spoken, thorny crown,
fresh blood drippin down upon a white satin gown,
I try to spit it out, but the sound is faint n faded brown,
I'm hellbent shouting out whatever words are found:
Revenge upon you little bitch how could you trust in such a prick this anti-christ seductive lying piece of fibrous shit?
wistful, furious I’m listless – so the noose does gently sit,
Til the day I lose my grip
Darcy in my memories, picture frames, family trees
Left us more than grievances, sacrificial lamb of treason
Wishful thoughts of rest in peace, now we're taunted by the beast
May it be in hell or heaven, her news a piece of me
My sister under influence of weakened hope and chemic-illness
Her visions never were fulfilling, Longing for flawlessness 
Love and joy mysteries, peace out of reach
taunted by societies enforced belief systems was she
No trust in herself, but frustration far too much
She was stuck inside utopia so dreams were of the dust,
Such a battle such a storm such a useless world in store,
for a girl without a prayer every windows just door.
staring straight into a dismal state of Self-hate and Mutilation
 till the bleeding numbed the pain and all sensation faded,
Under pressure underweight each friend more fake
talking behind her back on the race to heaven’s gate
Deceptive two-faced creatures no intelligence
Hate spake from the bitches lips she believed every bit
Inner critic soon to dominate her every little think
Imprisoned in her own skin her head echoed the disses
Till the ringing in her head as ugly as her slitted wrists
2Little whore little slut you ugly fat disgusting fuck
You only purge two times a day? And don’t cut deep as us?
Well that’s just not enough, But if you hate yourself enough
and youre shrink says you’re fucked up, You’ll be popular like us,
And soon we'll hate each other's guts
So my sister mixed with bitches without confidence or wishes
Till all her thoughts were just as messy as her slitted wrists
oh how i miss...

Soon we'll hate each other's guts, This concoction, this destruction,
Desolation and corruption, this ill befell upon my sis
till her final gift, asphyxiation. oh how i miss
Darcy in my memories, picture frames, family trees
Left us more than grievances, sacrificial lamb of treason
Wishful thoughts of rest in peace, now we're taunted by the beast
Leave me be or else the noose will be the last of me